Feeling a lil sentimental

So my friend posted this picture/comic strip on Wechat last night.. and it made me cry, and I felt like I really had to blog about it. I just feel like I can relate so much to this picture.

For those who don't understand Chinese, it's basically about how much parents love their children.
The grey cicles represent when the child isn't at home, and the pink circle represents when the child is at home.

So the reason why I can relate to this picture is because I don't see my parents that often anymore.
Either they are really busy working, or I'm not at home.
The only time I properly get to spend time with them is in the weekends, and even then, sometimes things will come up so I won't get to see them.

Growing up, my parents have always been workaholics.
I think I already mentioned this in a previous blog post, but my parents work 24/7, from 7 in the morning to sometimes midnight.
They've never had a proper holiday; even on public holidays they sometimes have to work.
I remember I used to resent them alot when I was younger because when all my friends were going on family vacations, I never got to go anywhere. Obviously I was really immature; my parents were working so hard to give me and my brother a better life, yet I was always making them feel guilty for not spending time with us.
I used to have a really bad relationship with my mum especially. Maybe all adolescents go through that rebellious stage? But I used to constantly rage and swear at her, run away from home.. I remember I even hit my mum once or twice. Lol I'm actually tearing up right now even thinking about that. In Shanghai families, the mum is the boss of the house and the dad is the weaker one, and I guess my family is a really traditional Shanghainese family? (But my mum isn't like those snobby Shanghai women! She's actually super nice and caring; she's just also really strict)

Anyways yeah that rebellious stage continued till around university, when I finally grew up and matured. I started telling my mum everything about my life.. and we became super close.
But I guess with my parents being workaholics, it taught me to be independent from a young age. And I kinda got used to it. I started working lots of part-time jobs and paying for most things myself, very rarely asking them for any financial support. Of course they always supported me whenever I needed it (like buying me a new car and new laptop etc, but most everyday items I paid for myself)

I guess the good thing about my parents letting me be independent is that I got to do whatever I wanted. I didn't have curfews, I could just stay at my boyfriend's place if I wanted to, I even went to Melbourne twice by myself. And now, I really thank them for not being over-controlling, and over-protective, like most Asian parents. It helped me mature and face the real world. It doesn't mean they loved me any less than other peoples' parents; but sometimes the harder you hold on, the more they pull away. Of course they still had high expectations of me; I had to get good grades, find a job etc, but when they saw I did those things, they let me be happy and do whatever I wanted in my spare time.

But despite how much I love my independence, sometimes it makes me feel guilty that I'm being a bad daughter for not spending a lot of time with them. Especially after reading that comic strip above, I feel like I should go home more often. My parents aren't getting any younger, and me moving to Hamilton next year means I'll get to spend even less time with them.

I feel really grateful to have such amazing parents. They've always been so supportive through everything; I honestly don't know what I would do without them. They are so inspirational and constantly teach me how to be a better person through their actions. My only wish now is to repay them and have the ability to give them a better life, so that they can stop working so hard and go travel the world together, like they've always wanted to.

<3